Throughout my 46 year journey, there have been plenty of opportunities for people to be upset at certain aspects of injustice in my life. I chose long ago, to voice my disapproval of people around me wanting to hold a “torch” in support and disgust for what has taken place against me. Why? It is evident that most people look for support and encouragement by getting people on their side of a topic. I am more concerned with others not inadvertently wounding their own soul because of something going on in my own life.
I was speaking with someone this morning where this exact situation has been taking place in her life. She has watched her brothers hurt their mom emotionally. They don’t visit and she sees her mom cry often about how they treat her. It is easy for someone to support through torch holding and deeply caring about the wounds of another. It is also dangerous territory when we get offended, bitter, angry, and take up causes that are not necessarily ours to bear. Sometimes, we believe that our solution is better but in fact it could be much much worse. God does indeed remove toxic people from our lives even if we do not always see them in that context. In this case, the brothers not visiting was actually the better path because they are not healthy to be around. Changing perspective will allow all involved to avoid being wounded. Seeing God as the one who keeps people at bay verses accepting rejection and abandonment as truth that it is not.
Another common area is where a friend is having relationship issues with a romantic spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend. Often times, we see the couple resolve their issues and go on being in a happy relationship, but their friend is still hold the past against one of them. The friend just can’t let it go and is always looking for the bottom to fall out. It can take years of happiness before that friend finally accepts things are really good between the couple. The friend became one who conditionally supports. “I support you when things are bad, but not when things are good. I will not change my mind about this person or forgive them for hurting my friend.” We eventually distance ourselves from the friend because they do not support our happy moments just the same. They become critical of our life and choices. We cannot assume we ever know the full story in our own lives or the lives of others. Even if they are good account holders of what happened without skewing things to their favor, there may be aspects that they are unaware of.
Last year, God gave me a few dreams where a friend was wanting to usurp me, and her real motives for being around me was that she wanted my anointings. Sounds ridiculous on paper as she cannot have what God gave me. I was indeed mentoring her at her level, not mine, but she was going around trying to convince people she was walking in higher levels than she actually was. She wanted the attention and people coming to her like she was the one mantled. She let jealousy and envy rule her heart and mind against me. After God showed me what was taking place, I sat on it. I let God deal with the battle and I spoke to no one about the issue. God either wanted me to keep mentoring her with restoration in mind, or He didn’t. Within 60 days, God allowed her to become offended at something normal that I said while we were talking. That was the last day we spoke. God does not always want us to chase after people. Let God be God. When your hands are clean, they are clean. God told me what was taking place ahead of time so that I would do the RIGHT action when He did His part. Many looking on the outside of this may think, well you should apologize no matter what even if you are innocent. That is not what God wanted me to do. God wanted her removed and God does not care what the opinion of man is. God cares that deeply for His Chosen to not allow others to take advantage or use them. I have seen her in person since that incident, but did not speak to her. I have no ill-will, and I will let God work me and everyone else on the Potter’s wheel. I will not open doors that He has closed by His own hand. Could God reopen this door? Sure, but that is not the reality of today’s now. I have to be okay with how things are today no matter what. Being offended only wounds the soul. God does not call us to righteous offense. It will do no good in your life, so stop it from the start.
When someone has an issue, guard your emotions and opinions. Let God be God. He is the one to deal with what is happening. If He doesn’t ask you to get involved with Heaven’s perspective and strategy, then do not. The enemy is looking for an open gateway into you at all times. When storms rise up against me, I allow people to support me, but also know that I expect God to resolve it. I allow His promises to breathe over my life in its entirety. If God promises to resolve that problem between you and another person, then He will at some point. Until then, keep walking out your path. No, it is not always easy depending on the person we are in conflict with, but we have to remember that there are aspects God has to work out in the other person before reconciliation can be realized. It is not always about us at all. You can love or care about someone and still release them into God’s hands. You can be at peace with others even if they are not with you. The enemy will try often to get you off the right path and attitude. Decide from the beginning of an issue, to not allow that to happen. You can control not being derailed into efforts that will not bear good fruit in your life.
Look for God moving in and around your life, even when you do not understand the Why of it all. He is your Rear Guard!
~Blessings MaryEllen Replenished Hope